she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
