come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
