remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
