listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Randomize