brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
