Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
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