dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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