I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
