he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
