I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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