At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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