Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
