I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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