Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
