I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
