the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
