Christians are straight up FREAKS
Soap is not a condiment
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
