The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
