Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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