Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
