well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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