So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
