I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
