Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
MIDGETS
????
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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