During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
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