Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
