Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
