you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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