I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
