I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
