Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
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I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
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Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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