and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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