sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
