Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
