I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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