I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
