After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
