i was born a porn star she said
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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