____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
