We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
