i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
