Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
