O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize