hell yes lets make some ravioli
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
