Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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