I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
