By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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