Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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