meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
