I hate all girls vehemently.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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