she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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