Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
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And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
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lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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