I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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