I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
