no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
