my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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