just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
