Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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