Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip ๐๐๐
Your skills amaze me
Sorry, Geoff canโt come to his phone right now. Heโs outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with โDTFโ written on the windows
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