I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You peed on a flamingo?!?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
