Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
