This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize